Janathon 31/31 – in which I collapse, face down in my porridge

Well that’s another another Athon signed off. 31 from 31. Running every day (despite not intending to that at all) and hopefully not incurring any niggling injuries along the way (I definitely see some foam roller action in my near future).

After Sunday’s long run, I totted up my mileage so far and it came to 95.5 miles. My total for Janathon 2011 was 103 miles. I ummmed and  ahhhhed about trying to beat last year, but decided that isn’t part of my Janathon story and chose to aim at 100, which left 1.5 miles this morning. I really didn’t want a repeat of Juneathon 2010 (when I got back to the tent after my ‘final’ run only to tally up my mileage and realise that I had done 99, so I went back out and did another one) so I did 2 miles. Just to be on the safe side.

I’m happy to confirm that this final effort has left my Janathon total as follows:

  • 31 activities
  • 100.65 miles
  • 17 hours and 31 miles
  • 3403ft of elevation gained
  • 12,354 calories burned

Which equates to around 150 Lindt balls (or 171 Ferrero Rocher in old money).


Janathon 30/31 – in which eventually I “get out of the bloody car”

Ginge has very kindly summarised day 30 with the following:

“It was cold, I didn’t want to run but my mean husband made me cos if I didn’t I wouldn’t be allowed to have my post-Janathon annual unseasonal barbeque. I FAFFED ROUND FOR YONKS AT WOM (‘home’ for my southern readers) BEFORE WE SET OFF TO TESCO. And I ran 3 miles the quickest I have in aaaaages. One more run to go. Ginge doffs his cap to all who have finished Janathon”.

That basically covers it, but I feel that I should elaborate a bit. It was cold. I didn’t really want to go to Tesco, let alone go to Tesco and then run. I stalled for as long as possible before we set off (including an attempt at hiding under the kitchen table at one point, although I suspect that was never going to work while I was wearing hi-vis) and then stalled for as long as possible in the car before I was kicked out in the layby at the side of the road. In Ginge’s defence, he did kick me out where I had asked to be released. Personally, I would have thrown me out before we’d even left the car park.

I had fully intended it to be an easy stretch of the legs after yesterday’s efforts, but somehow I managed to find a 9:29min/mile pace in them, which I would be more than happy with on any given day. I’m not sure whether it was the very cold legs, the prospect of the end of Janathon, residual Disaronno or the slightly scary but slightly wonderful email telling me that I’ve got a place in the Royal Parks Half in October. Whatever it was, it worked.

Tomorrow Janathon will draw to a close. I will run in the morning, donate my armful of blood after work and then be rewarded with a post-Janathon barbecue of Welsh Dragon sausage on homemade (Dan Lepard recipe) buns. Wherever you are, you are likely to hear my sigh of relief.

Large soft white baps. Fnar.

Janathon 29/31 – in which I find myself pleasantly surprised at not feeling as rough as a badger’s arse

It would appear that I have found the key to my drinking survival. I didn’t drink too much during the day, had a part share in a couple of bottles of wine, had plenty of water alongside that and, because of a particularly talkative after-dinner speaker, had enforced non-drinking for an hour or so because we forgot to go the bar in time. The speaker (should you ever be organising a sportsmans dinner or some such) was ex-rugby league and current rugby union referee Karl Kirkpatrick and it pains me to say it (especially if he Googles himself and he strikes me as being the sort who would) but he was absolutely brilliant. I would put him on a par with the year that we had Robbie Hunter-Paul as a guest, although Robbie gets bonus points for the topless haka that he performed and I suspect that should Karl have done that, it wouldn’t have got the ladies half as melty. Sorry Karl. Anyway, after he’d finished the raffle and the stand up bingo, I managed to put a decent dent in the hotel’s stock of Disaronno and was remarkably compos mentis as I made my way to bed at 3.00.

One of the strangest points in the evening occurred when I was having a bit of a misty eyed reminisce about rugby do’s past and I found myself thinking “yes, but what I really want these days is the feeling of doing a good 10 miler”. At this point I  began to suspect that I wasn’t as sober as I had first thought.

However, as I’ve managed to get through today without my usual after-Blackpool nap and I had the pleasure of listening to Pilgrim (Radio Four’s afternoon play on Thursday and for the next three Thursdays), I set off for a very enjoyable run on an extendable 7 mile loop. I felt happy and strong and comfortable, so I added on a half mile and another and another until I had done 11 miles. I suspect that I may hurt in the morning and my eyes are becoming scratchy, but for now I am happy.

Janathon 28/31 – in which we continue our adventure in Blackpool

I woke up this morning at 7:15, peeled my eyes open and felt quite alright. I lay there trying to work out whether this meant that I had managed to swerve a hangover or meant that I was still a bit drunk. Everything seemed to be working ok so I embarked on a frosty 3 miles up to the Tower and back. Ginge accompanied me at walking pace and acted as official photographer.


Outside the Tower is the Comedy Carpet featuring the gags and catchphrases of 1000 comedians. As a tribute to those people featuring Jokeathons on their blogs, this is one of my favourites from Billy Connolly.


Tonight is where things will become potentially messier. Everyone will buff up their shiniest shoes, comb their best toupees and check their ties for last year’s gravy stains before heading down for a night of stand up bingo, after dinner speaking and possibly the naffest mobile disco in Lancashire. Wish me luck for tomorrow…

Janathon 27/31 – in which we relocate our adventure to Blackpool

Once a year, Ginge and I venture to Blackpool for a rugby dinner. Usually it is one night of fairly predictable (see Janathon 2011 for a full itinerary) but generally enjoyable entertainment. By generally enjoyable, I mean soundly alcohol fuelled.

This year we are doing not one but two nights. I’m not sure what the end result of this will be. Those of you who know the potent combination of beer and rugby league fans will understand my concern. These days both my liver function and ‘am-I-making-a-tit-of-myself-ometer’ are calibrated to a much lower tolerance and I may survive to finish Janathon with my 100% record intact.

As it is, we spent ages sitting in the car waiting for the torrential rain to pass…


Before long my bladder won and we had to venture out into the cold and wet of Stanley Park. After nipping to the loos, we stood in the lashing sleet debating the merits of postponing the run by a few hours, before deciding I was already cold and wet so I might as well do some running. I left Ginge on the AstroTurf (well I never expected that brand to be in the predictive text) practising his rookie quarterback drills and hacked out w very cold and very wet 2 and a bit miles.

Tomorrow promises subzero temperatures and a hangover the size of Fleetwood