It’s official – I’m hopeless.
Today I have learned (or had reinforced) that I have no co-ordination, rubbish balance, a general listing to the left and I’m overweight. For giving me this knowledge I have to thank a high impact aerobic class and a wii-fit.
The aerobics was hilarious. Picture the scene; the class is being held in one of the boardrooms so we spend the warm up shifting tables and chairs, it also soon becomes apparent that the air conditioning is tamperproof (well the controls are covered in parcel tape) so it’s like working out in an oven. The class consists of 9 women and 1 man; 9 of us are giggling furiously, the other is a pert swishy ponytailed lady (I shall say no more).
Within about three minutes, I’m age 5 at ballet class – grinning like a loon and swinging my limbs with wild abandon. It turns out that I can work the top half of my body, I can work the lower half of my body, I can move in all major directions; what I can’t do is more than one thing at once. I’m like a marionette whose puppet master has his fingers trapped in a socket. Despite this, I really enjoyed myself and was quite chuffed to not be too exhausted by the aerobic aspect.
I’m not likely to try it again and it’s made me wonder if aquaerobics is a good idea given that it’s aerobics with the added risk of drowning. On the plus side, no one will see my lower half, so I’ll only look half as bad…
And as for the wii… For reasons that are far to complicated (dull) to explain, I have possession of a wii for the weekend (wiikend? Fnar) and have to play with the balance exercises. I have an appalling sense of balance to the point that I can fail children’s balance assessments (and that’s a fact) – generally it’s a miracle I stay upright. The highlight of my evening has been shouting “panda! panda! panda! shoe!” at the header game and then falling off the board. Who the hell decided that a disembodied panda head was the thing to hurl at footballers? And why haven’t they written to the FA with the idea? It’d liven up the game as far as I’m concerned.
Back on the early run tomorrow morning providing I don’t fall over in the meantime.