I may or may not be a weasel.

Viceathon. Yes. Um. Well… If I’m completely honest, I’m not sure whether or not I’m still aboard the Viceathon bus and if so, for how much debt. Last week, I introduced the concept of ‘time shifting’ – this is an ethically grey area in which I weaselled out of time shifted two runs from the time that I was supposed to do them to the next morning. So technically I didn’t weasel. The run was still done (in fact maybe I should apply for bonus points for getting up early in the morning AND ending up doing a hat trick of run, yoga, weights on Wednesday) just not at the allotted time.

Whether or not time shifting is acceptable to the Viceathon gods, I’m not sure, but I suspect that the second half of my excuses will be dismissed without thought. Basically, I haven’t weaselled from Saturday to Tuesday because although I haven’t done any exercise in that time, I didn’t plan on doing any. Alright, so I may have had a misguided idea about going to the gym on the Saturday after my friend’s wedding but that’s only one weasel, the other three days were exercise-free because that’s what I chose to do. So there.

Since coming back from our yarntastic weekend (did I mention the crab sandwich knitted from elastic bands on the pic-knit blog? No? I am an idiot) I have yogaed (Wednesday), done treadmill intervals and weights (Thursday), ran a very heavy legged 6 miles today and declared tomorrow a rest day. I’m hoping that the heavy leggedness is because of Wednesday and Thursday’s exertions because on Sunday I will be doing the Bolton 10k. I signed up for this in what can best be described as a fit of foot stamping. Basically, I went for a run in the morning and was spotted by a friend. Later in the day, Ginge was on the phone to that friend and I suspected that my running efforts were being mocked. Unfortunately, I was looking at the Bolton 10k at the time so I entered it in a “ha, that’ll show you” frame of mind. Even more unfortunately, it turned out that at worst my friend was guilty of affectionate teasing and was actually being quite positive about the sight of me lumbering along the main road, but by this time I was fully paid up.

I did consider ignoring the race (it’s also the first one that I will run without Ginge there as my cheerleader) but have been shamed into it by all the London Marathon talk on twitter. If so many people are going to run 26.2 miles, I can hardly sulk about doing 10k (even if it is a bit hilly) at the same time.

Good luck to everyone running London on Sunday, but in particular these lovely and inspiring people; Mark, Jay, Carla, Julie and Jo who have all worked bloody hard and deserve to have a fantastic race. Incidentally, I am equally in awe of everyone who I know who has run/is running marathons whether they are in Brighton, Liverpool, Manchester, Lochaber or wherever. A marathon is a marathon is a marathon and 26.2 miles is 13.1 miles more than I ever want to run – I salute you all.

In which I actually run THREE TIMES in a week and find that my leg doesn’t drop off

I don’t know what I did when I had free will and didn’t get blindsided into doing Athons avery few months. Well I do, I chose sofa and didn’t run as much. Since declaring myself as part of Viceathon, I have managed to stick to some kind of plan (although today’s exercise hasn’t been done, so there is a potential weasel on the horizon).

The week has seen an early morning run, a yoga class followed by late night gym, an evening run (which surely would have been otherwise weaselled because I was a bit knackered), a rest day (which was appreciated all the more for being guilt-free) and a nice 6 miler in the brief spell of sunshine that we had yesterday. Today has been declared run or gym, but judging by the steady drizzle, I suspect that I’ll be heading down to the gym.

I did a lamb run the other week, they're lovely - very gambolly.

Happy Easter!

PS: note tiny knitted chicken (from a Mochimochi Land pattern – warning:contains many teeny tiny bunnies…)

Sessions weaselled = 1
Miles run = 12
Minutes gymmed = 45

Hopping on board the Viceathon bus.

I have been trying to avoid the lure of Viceathon, but I have succumbed. For the  unitiated, Viceathon is the brainchild of JogBlog (who you might remember from such Athons as Janathon and Juneathon) who explains concept here. Basically, it’s a bit like offsetting your carbon footprint, but instead of planting a tree every time you turn the heating on, you offset a vice by doing some exercise. Offsetting your lard footprint if you will.

I have been trying to avoid the lure of Viceathon, but I have finally succumbed. For the uninitiated, Viceathon is the brainchild of JogBlog (who you might remember from such Athons as Janathon and Juneathon) who explains concept here. Basically, it’s a bit like offsetting your carbon footprint, but instead of planting a tree every time you turn the heating on, you offset a vice by doing some exercise. Offsetting your lard footprint if you will.

My problem has been with identifying a vice that I can offset. Now I’d love to claim that this is because I am viceless, but this will be read by people who know me and if I did claim that, the comments below would be filled with loud guffaws (hello mum). No, it’s been more of an issue finding a suitable vice. Other people’s vices include alcohol, baked goods and being a dirty stop out, all of which I may have indulged in at some point or another (hello again mum), but everything that I thought of now are too dull/too infrequent/too unsuitable for sharing with the general public to be vices. I’ve also managed to identify a thousand bad habits, but these are all things that I want to give up (saving Ginge a lot of Toffee Crisp buying missions) or I don’t take pleasure in (and I’m certain that a vice should be enjoyable).

Yesterday I complained that I still didn’t have a vice, but I also hadn’t done any exercise, which surely meant that if nothing else, I was breaking even? It was at this point that Sue suggested that ‘not exercising’ could be my vice. I thought about this, only for it to create a bizarre paradox that made my brain hurt, so I stopped thinking about it until my run this morning when it crept in again…

Over the last couple of months, I’ve been convinced that I’ve been running fairly regularly, but now I’ve looked back on Miles’ records I’ve realised that since the end of Janathon I’ve only once managed to run three times in a week. What makes it even worse is that my weekly mileage has been consistently less than 10 miles (except the week where I ran once, but did 11 miles). So my belatedly designated vice is going to be “weaselling out of exercise”. Generally, these are days where I postpone my morning run to after work and then get tempted by the magnetic power of the sofa and do sod all instead.

Theoretically, I shouldn’t do this more than once or twice a week so I’m going to have to do some hefty penalty points. As such, I have decreed that each weaselled session = 10 miles or 90 minutes in the gym.

Sessions weaselled = 1 (Monday)
Miles run = 3 (Tuesday)
Gym minutes hefted = 0

It is the third of April, I am already 7 miles in debt.

Oh, and to avoid cheating, I suppose I should declare my intentions for the rest of the week.
Wednesday – Gym and yoga
Thursday – Run
Friday – Resting (not weaselling)
Saturday – Run or gym
Sunday – Run or gym

 

My problem has been identifying a suitable vice to be offset. I’d love to claim that this is because I am viceless, but this blog is read by people hwo know me and if I did claim that, the comments would be filled with loud guffaws (hello mum).

 

Wrap Up and Run

I feel that there been a lovely symmetry to this week. On Friday, I finished a spectacular piece of knitting, namely my Scarf of Doom. The Scarf of Doom is the work of graffiti knitter Deadly Knitshade who was invited onto BBC Breakfast to talk about knitting a few weeks ago. She was asked to knit a bright, chunky scarf while she talked, which she did, only for elements of the online knitting community to be hypercritical of, well, pretty much every aspect of her telly appearance. Her response was one of the most graceful, humorous and quite frankly bloody marvellous things that I’ve ever read (you can read the full story here, please do – my summary doesn’t do it justice).

Knitted with two strands of double-knit on 15mm needles. The wool is from my stash (from the top it was bought for a tea cosy, the same tea cosy, pizza bases, various vegetables, flower petals and beaks, grapes/aubergine)

As someone who responds to the question “So what kind of things do you knit?” with some slightly embarrassed foot shuffling and “Um. Dinosaurs. And um, chickens. And peas. And tiny hats. And stuff….”, I was liberated by Deadly Knitshade’s definition of ‘squeeeee knitting’ (it might be made out of scratchy, fluorescent acrylic yarn, but people look at it, want it and go ‘squeeeeee’). In the spirit of solidarity, it seemed only fitting that I should knit a Scarf of Doom. Also, Deadly Knitshade promised a medal for those who made one. As Ginge will testify, I have a Muttley-like love of medals and the lure of something shiny is all that I need to motivate me for a lot of things.

Monkey's disappointment at not getting another medal was soothed by his new scarf.

Sadly there was no medal on offer on Sunday’s Wrap Up and Run 10K in Southport. This was organised by Age UK to raise awareness and funds to help keep older people warm during the winter months. I entered on a whim this Wednesday, when the weather was balmy and spring-like and I couldn’t help but think that maybe Age UK’s campaign was a little mistimed. Ha. The Met Office promised heavy or light rain and temperatures of around 5˚C (which would feel like 1˚C). When we arrived in Southport, there was a bitter wind that chilled the steady drizzle and resulted in me looking spectacularly grumpy (there is photographic evidence of this. I won’t be sharing it with you).

I was cold enough to consider joining in with the warm up. At my only previous race where there has been a pre-race warm up (Liverpool Women’s 10K) I avoided it because it looked like it required far too much coordination for my paltry skills. Today I muttered darkly about not being here to jump up and down, I like running and if I wanted to do jumping, I would go to…jumping practise (I said I was grumpy). My grudging participation was rewarded by the friendliest, most laid back, random warm up (given that the chap who did it didn’t look like the ‘Camilla’ who had previously been introduced, I suspect he was a last minute replacement) that ended up with him accepting heckled exercise suggestions from the crowd.

The only downside of the warm up was that I landed slightly awkwardly when we were jumping (typical, it turns out that I need that jumping practise after all) and twanged my ankle. As I lined up at the start, I tried to ignore the fact that it felt like a slight sprain (twelve hours later, I had a dull ache and some slight swelling in my right ankle) and concentrated on the task in hand. I haven’t been following a training plan, in fact my running has been a little erratic of late, so I was intrigued to see how I would get on in my pursuit of a sub-60 10K.

Setting off, I was very,very cold. My feet were numb, my hands were freezing. As we ran along the coastal path into the wind, I really started to doubt my sanity. For those of you who don’t know Southport, it is extremely flat and there is a dearth of tropical palm trees to act as a windbreak from the breezes off the Irish Sea. If I’m honest, there’s a lack of anything to act as a windbreak. If I’m completely honest, there’s usually a lack of sea as well. Anyway, I abandoned being able to consult Miles in favour of pulling my sleeves down over my hands in a pathetic attempt to retain some heat. This led to a breakdown in communication between me and Miles as I managed to press his stop button and didn’t realise for what turned out to be about half a mile (when I realised that I had been running 0.69 miles for ages).

I can only apologise to the poor woman with the lovely knitted ear-warmer who I sidled up to and stalked for a bit so that I could get a proper look. And also the very tall man who ran with his feet turned out and I followed because he looked like a hi-vis emperor penguin. Apart from the soul destroying part at 3K where you could see the marker for 4K just to your right, but had to run around the boating lake to get to, the KMs seemed to pass fairly quickly. I felt strong and comfortable and we didn’t always have to run into the wind. At 8K, I ended up grinning like an idiot at the sight and sound of the drummers who welcomed the runners into the home stretch. My legs, trained to keep my feet to the beat with AudioFuel, took on a life of their own and my pace ramped up to 8.34min/mile as I bounced cheerily past them.

The finish line in sight, I managed a bit of a sprint at the end, collected my water, t-shirt and mars bar, was reunited with a well wrapped up Ginge and risked charges of indecent exposure as I changed tops in the car park. I was very pleased to get cosy with my woolly hat, a flask of tea and my Scarf of Doom and within minutes of arriving home, I’d had a text to confirm my chip time as 1.00.31. All in all, it was a rather good morning.

UPDATE: I forgot to credit Ginge with the Southport photography. He definitely manage to capture the bleakness of the day. Though he didn’t manage to capture me flicking the Vs at him during the bouncy warm up.

Throughout March, there are some more Wrap Up and Run races coming up in Coventry, Exeter, Cheshire and Yorkshire – if Southport is anything to go by, I would heartily recommend them no matter what your running experience.

Spring is in the air..

I forgot item six on my list of things that I like about the gym.

6. My programme card tells me to run between 6-7mph – this is clearly evidence that I WON the argument about 6mph being 10min/mile. Ha.

Despite the benefits of walls and a roof, the gym certainly doesn’t compare to the glory of being outdoors when spring is in the air. On Sunday morning, I did a relaxed six miles around the village and down to the lodge, taking in the warmth of the sunshine and the bone-chilling cold of the shady bits. I can only apologise to any passing drivers who saw me squatting in the undergrowth, trying to take photos of snowdrops – I dread to think what that looked like…