Juneathon day two: Swim

I have a chequered swimming history. As a small child I was rubbish in swimming lessons (too easily distracted) but didn’t let this stop me jumping into the deep end of swimming pools without wearing arm bands. And not being one to let optimism be outweighed by experience, I didn’t do this on just the one occasion… If nothing else, I proved at an early age that I wasn’t a witch. Eventually, I did get the hang of floating and even notched up a few swimming badges along the way, but I haven’t swum much as a grown up.

We’re lucky enough to have two pools in reasonable distance and I have graced both with my presence recently. Some things seem to  have altered somewhat while I’ve been away, I’m still somewhat fazed by the concept of a ‘Changing Village’ for instance. Anyway, this morning we made it into the water by 9 o’clock and had just enough time for 22 lengths before it started to fill up at what we call Noodle Time (when families appear with various floats and small children chase after things thrown for them, like excited spaniels in the park). Three lanes of the pool are dedicated to lane swimming, but I’m still too nervous to even consider splashing my way down one of those. I do however look on in awe at the Amazonian women in the fast lane; they are broad of shoulder, sturdy of thigh and look like they could wrestle an alligator should one be foolish enough to venture into the baths.

No one wants to see a picture of me in a swimming costume, please accept a knitting flipper-wearing meerkat as an alternative.

No one wants to see a picture of me in a swimming costume, please accept a knitted flipper-wearing meerkat as an alternative.

Oh, and Flymos… Well, when the Flymo was first invented, people weren’t too convinced by the concept. Until then, lawn mowers had been feats of engineering brilliance, built to last and weighing a ton (at one point they were categorised by the amount of pulling power needed to shift them – one man, man and boy, two man, one horse, one elephant etc). The funny-looking Flymo was made of plastic, seemed flimsy in comparison to what people knew and the public needed convincing. The Flymo people went door to door inviting the ladies of the house to have a go with it in order to demonstrate just how simple and light-weight it was to use. Clearly knowing where the decision-making power lay in most homes, they asked 5000 women what colour they would like their grass cutter to be and the resounding answer was orange. Well it was the Sixties.

Juneathon day one: Lune

How did it come around to June already? Anyone? Anyone? No. Oh. Well it’s here again, another month celebrating our festival of exercise and excuses. If you’re new to my blog (hello! Make yourself at home, please bring cake next time…) I don’t really have a bad Athon record. I usually (somehow) manage to run (even if it’s just a token mile) and blog every day, typically clocking up a respectable hundred or so miles in the process. However, when I finished Janathon this year it turned out that I was about a fortnight pregnant and so I’m starting Juneathon 22 weeks gone. Running every day aint an option. If you’re currently pregnant and running every day, more power to your elbow! If you’re feeling good, then go for it. I just know that for me, it’s not a sensible option at this point in time (well it’s even less of a sensible option than it has been for the last three years).

Instead, my Juneathon 2013 will be a mix of run/walking, walking, swimming and gymming. I am trying to feel enthusiastic about this, but the lack of running (especially on day one) has made me feel a bit of a fraud. It’s ten o’clock on the first day of Juneathon and I feel like there’s something that I’ve forgotten to do…

Day one kicked off with a bacon and black pudding baton (the breakfast of champions) and a trip to the British Lawnmower Museum. The reasons for this are a little too involved to explain, but I have learned why Flymos are orange, have seen a whole host of celebrity lawnmowers…

Hilda Ogden's lawnmower.

Hilda Ogden’s lawnmower. Fact.

…and learned that smoking and mowing are not necessarily doomed to be mutually exclusive activities.

Ah, the heady days of straightforward advertising.

Ah, the heady days of straightforward advertising.

After all that grassy excitement, a series errands took us up to Carnforth (home of Brief Encounter) at the other end of the county and then back down to Lancaster for the rest of the afternoon. Working on the theory that a run only counts if it’s Garmin-ed (I know, I know), I took Miles (my Garmin) to (a) keep track of my pace and (b) have some kind of proof that I didn’t just amble around the house. Setting off from the Millennium Bridge in Lancaster…

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…we headed down the River Lune along the Lancashire Coastal Way for a mile…

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…admiring some impressive bits of stone being salvaged from an old factory on the way…

 

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…before striding back in time for tea.

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Janathon day thirty-one: end

It’s all over.

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I know it’s all over because I have been allowed my traditional post-Athon barbecue and have gorged on sausage and Ginge’s homemade handground burgers (50% brisket, 50% sirloin, 0% horse). When I got in from work I wasn’t even allowed a crisp until I had gone out and run, which I suppose is fair enough.

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I only did a paltry 2 miles to take my Athon total to a round 110 (having learned about the perils of finishing on a Nelson from Abradypus, I wasn’t going to do 3 and I certainly wasn’t going to do 4…) but I did choose the direction that has more of a hill in it, so I’m not entirely lazy.

So, now we’re at the end of this ridiculous folly, have I learned anything? Kind of. I know my body is very unhappy with me, I am tired and lots of me aches. I am looking forward to a few rest days (happily these involve a weekend in London for the post-Janathon pizza and pub combo).

I have entered a ridiculous amount of races while I was giddy on Athon endorphins. I am now faced with the prospect of having to (a) train and (b) run them. I have my first one in just over a week…

I didn’t especially change my diet during Janathon and I certainly wasn’t on a diet, but it’s managed to take nearly 5lb off my weight at the start of the new year. This pleases me. This morning I saw numbers on the scales that I haven’t seen for months (possibly years) – this also pleases me, although after this weekend I suspect that I will be back at square one.

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Athoners are amazing. I have loved reading people’s blogs – old favourites and all the new ones – and love the fact that everyone tackles an Athon differently, but you know what? It doesn’t matter. Amongst the many that I have enjoyed, I am faint with admiration for Benjiboyw who has set a new Athon record of 501 miles. I have loved the daily sheeps of Jovial Gnome. And of course runningman856 who has been very gracious in defeat after our Janathon mini-challenge about who would do more miles (I suspect that this originally involved a drunken throwing down of gauntlets).  Thank you all for keeping me entertained, arse kicking me when necessary and for all your lovely comments on here. It’s certainly helped to keep me going – I was wary of doing Janathon after having such fun doing my Juneathon treasure hunt, but have enjoyed most (if not every) minute of it.

A special thank you has to go out to Ginge, without whom we would starve and live in squalor throughout the Athons. On the quiet, he has also exercised every day and has whinged a lot less than I have.

(Oh and of course thank you to the JogBlog, Queen of the Athons, without whom none of us would be doing any of this and who will be rewarded with flapjacks).

See you in June!

Janathon day thirty: inarticulate

This morning’s run itself was pretty uneventful. Without going into too much detail, I had the sort of stomach cramps that make me reluctant to keep running further away from home, so I turned around after a mile and then tacked on an extra mile loop so that I could stay a bit nearer to facilitities…

One more Janathon run to go…

(I have run out of words, so here is a picture of a giraffe wearing a jaunty hat.)

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Janathon day twenty-nine: grumpy

I was not feeling the Janathon love today. In my defence, there are just three days to go and mostly I have been annoyingly chirpy and giddy throughout the month. In fact, on the twentieth, when JogBlog tweeted that there was just eleven days to go, I had a little pang that it was all going to be over soon. Today the end cannot come quickly enough.

This morning everything ached. I would kill for a decent massage. None of this namby-pamby gentle soothing spa day massage to the sounds of whales playing panpipes, a  proper pummeling, deknotting massage that makes me swear. That would be lovely.

And I’ve spent the day feeling a bit off-side at work, out of sorts and a bit stressy and worried.

And I had been promised some of my colleague’s home-made soup for dinner, but when I got back to the office at two o’clock, it turned out that it was still in her fridge and it was too late for me to get anything else. So I just ate my fruit and an underfed me is not a happy me (I’m not going to waste away but I do get bloody grumpy).

And then it started raining.

And I had to go out and Janathon.

But then it stopped raining and Ginge very kindly offered to accompany me (I think it was as much as a precaution against me punching a passer-by as much as anything). I was going to do three miles, but at a mile and a half it started bucketing down. It would have been unfair of me to make Ginge endure this for another mile, so selflessly I cut it short at two miles.

I might make up the difference tomorrow…

In honour of my wearing of the grumpiest grumpy-pants, I thought I’d recycle my picture of this little fellow – the Grumpasaurus.

Grumpasaurus - that's me before a run that is. He was a pattern from Kat Crafts.