In which I explain how I have been double crossed by my Garmin

I wish I could claim that my last one line post was part of an elaborate teaser campaign to generate interest in the next post. It wasn’t. Put simply, I am a numpty who cannot remember to set the post status to ‘draft’ when using the WordPress iPhone app.

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, Miles and I have fallen out.

For the uninitiated, Miles is my virtual training partner on my Garmin. I rarely race against him, but sometimes he nags me to go a bit faster and often he surprises me by reporting that I have not run as far as I thought I had. He cheerfully bleeps at me, I mutter dark curses and threats back at him. He paced me well through the Blackpool 10k, but after a couple of miles at Folkestone, it became apparent that we had entered the race with very different expectations and I threatened to throw him into the sea if he didn’t shut up.

I thought that we had got over this disagreement, but it seems that he’s been brooding on our last argument. Yesterday’s early run didn’t happen because of laziness my energy efficiency plan and was replaced with a three mile post-work there and back in the company of Ginge and his ruby slippers.

Miles went outside to get a signal. No luck. Try again. Nope. “Are you indoors?” he enquired. “No, I am not bloody indoors. This is outdoors. It is dark and raining, those are the clues”, I snapped back (Ginge distanced himself from me at this point, even though we were in the back garden and no one could see or hear me). We tried again. And again. By this time, Ginge was getting a bit restless and, through gritted teeth, I suggested that we set off without a satellite signal. I knew that this was going to end in tears.

After half a mile or so, Miles managed to find himself but it was too late; I didn’t know who to trust anymore. I know where the turnaround point at 1.5 miles is, but Miles said something completely different. We went to see some pigs at a farm (but could only hear them in the gloom) which added another quarter of a mile (ish) to our route, so I had even less of an idea about our distance. As we got nearer home, I knew that we had done more than 3 miles, but Miles said less than that. I was torn – do I trust my own knowledge or do I round up to 3 miles as according to him? Even though I knew that would be more than 3 miles…

I took a deep breath. And stopped. With Miles saying 2.88 miles. I can’t tell you how twitchy it made me by not rounding up to three. Miles also said that my first half mile was at a blistering pace of 15 minutes/mile, which is a bloody outrageous lie and I’ll have him for saying that.